Here is the play by play of the occurrences of the past hour:
Be cautious, this is raw and this is real.“You give life, You are love, You bring light to the darkness. You give hope, You restore every heart that is broken. Great are You Lord.”
Filled with the words I write and the lyrics I hear as I breathe from writing.“Well you’ve come to bring peace, to be love, to be nearer to us. Well you’ve come to bring life, to be light, to shine brighter in us.”
Tonight I sat down to read the Bible- to rest in His word- when suddenly this unexplainable feeling came over me.
This feeling so dark that a panic attack set in.
Looking at me from the outside no one would have even known.
They wouldn’t have seen the fear that I was feeling.
It was like this attack.
This attack at my soul.
Something telling me not to believe. Not to love abundantly.
But rest assured,
nothing will keep me from believing. Nothing will stop me from loving abundantly.
That’s iridescent bliss.
Not the awful feeling that washed over me,
but the grace that pours over me.Seven minutes.
Seven minutes I spent in prayer.
"God give me peace. I do not know what is happening. God take this battle and fight it. Deliver me, oh Lord, from whatever is going on. Please, Jesus, I need you. I NEED YOU."
Seven minutes.“Our deliverer, You are Savior, in Your presence we find our strength.” and then two conversations.
Both conversations led me to proclaiming the goodness of God.“So we shout for joy to the Lord. All the Earth will adore….Now we lift up our praise, God whose marvelous name is high above it all. Victory is Yours oh Lord.”
He uses things like this, you know?
To grow us. To mature our relationships with Him.
I asked Him to take me deeper. I asked Him to bring me closer.
I’ve asked Him to send me out.
Maybe this is just the start. The start of something big. Something big to bring Him the glory.“I bring my every need, confessing everything, Lord I’m desperate for your healing. I’m broken, every part. My unbelieving heart. I need the faith to even ask you….recklessly I run, I run to You. So whether suffering or free from laboring it’s for Your glory and for my good. “ Because how am I supposed to be a strong servant if I don’t know how to fight the hardest battle there is?
The fight against myself?
The fight against flesh.
So here is me physically letting go of all control.
Here I am saying Jesus, take me.
Take all of me.
Every ounce.“You restore my soul, I’m Yours, Oh Lord, Oh King of Glory.”