“The tree I’ll grow to let you know, my love is older than my soul”

I know it’s been a while.

A while since I had the time to sit down and really pour out.

A while since I have pointed out the iridescent bliss that is so shining in my life.

For that, I am sorry.

The end of a semester marks a time where it is hard to sit down 
and pour out, and I would rather not do it than do it 
improperly.

But today I found the time, and my heart is ready for it.

So now, I will pour out.

There have been a lot of things recently that have brought iridescent bliss to my life, so many things I could write forever about them.

But that’s not exactly what’s on my mind today.

I want you to hear my heart loud and clear because through 
hearing my heart you will witness the bliss for yourself.

 

There have been three constant words this semester:

joy, grace, and overflow.

Let me reiterate, three is my number.

This semester in bible study we have been discussing the Fruit of the Spirit. 

It’s cool because last semester we were told to write on a card what we would like to study.

I wrote the fruit.

 

Little did I know that they would choose my topic, and little did I know the topic would speak loudly in my life.

With every fruit we have studied, I have seen my seasons of the fruits being grown, pruned, gone, and re grown. 

It’s a cool thing how I can pick up my bible and be lead to specific books at specific times without having a hand in any of it.

Jesus is a cool dude.

I always say I think God has the biggest sense of humor. He does things in such a funny way. I appreciate that so much, too.

Every time I have picked up my bible recently I have been lead to a book that applies to my life in this season. 

The best part? All of the things end up connecting back to one or more of the fruit of the spirit. 

 

“We press fruit onto the tree instead of letting it grow. We pretend that we have it, but do we really? It doesn’t have a strong hold or foundation if we do it that way. We can’t grow fruit of the spirit, but we can water it. It’s the Lord’s doing that the fruit is there, but we have the power to grow it.” 

Hearing this made me think, am I pressing fruit onto the tree 
like an elementary craft? 

Or am I taking it from the roots, faithfully watering it 
and exposing it to the (SON) it needs to grow? 

I do hope that it is the latter of the two.

That I am deeply rooted in a firm foundation. That I bear the fruit because it has grown from a seed. That I continuously grow it and take care of it as I grow in my walk.

 

Speaking of my walk:

 

There’s been something on my mind.

I quit the internship quite a while ago, now.

I quit for growth. 

Growth is most definitely what I have gained. 

But now I’m in this place.

This place of overflow as you have heard me talking about.

And I wonder, what should I do with my overflow?

It’s a hard place to be in, for me.

Because I have a hard time being patient (that’s a fruit, you see?)

But I know that I can’t just sit with this overflow and not doing anything about it.

But I also know I can’t go and do something out of my own desire of making a difference.

I want to go where I am called to go and do
 what I am called to do.

It’s hard waiting around knowing I have so much to give but not know how to give it.

I have this talent of using art in my spiritual walk, but mostly it is kept to myself in my journal.

How, I think, might I serve the Lord by using my art?

Or maybe even using my voice, because I have a voice that seriously loves to harmonize. 

There are gifts that I have been given, but now I want to freely give them.

The question though, is how? where? when? 

 

But here is what I have learned.

Here is where my heart is at this very moment.

Here is what writing it down just now opened my eyes to.

Why am I asking so many questions and expecting an answer?

Why should I not just know that my trust is in the Lord and know that He will provide the how the where and the when when the time is right?

Have I not learned anything of His timing this semester?

 

Thanks be to God for the iridescent bliss of trusting in Him completely despite all of the questions circling in my head.

 

I am going to leave you all with this.

A girl in my bible study gave us this comparison last night, and it touched my heart and spirit because I have this love for trees, this love for the seasons, this love for picture examples. Now I want to have this theory as a huge part of my life and future goals.

"We are like trees. They're so full after the rain that they 
drip in overflow. 
They're always growing, 
changing seasons, and being made new."