Do you know that feeling of life being so busy and so crazy that you just get lost in all of the moments and it feels like a blur and kind of like you’re drowning?
Yeah. That’s been me for a while now.
But you see, I’ve started to realize that joy and bliss are things that can be so easily covered up but not so easily lost, so as I told people of my struggle- the struggle of losing my joy, I began to realize I hadn’t actually lost it, I just wasn’t focusing on it anymore.
Because life gives me a lot of things to focus on and take up my entire life…like school.
& I get lost in those things-
In holding myself to standards of perfection I can't even begin to reach.
But life is starting to look a lot more like it used to, now.
It’s looking a lot more bright & a lot more sunny.
Now, I’m not saying my life was bad before- don’t misunderstand me here-
It’s been PERFECT.
Life has been nothing short of beautiful.
I’ve learned a lot about loving deeply, having patience, working hard, challenging myself, diving deeper into my faith, loving God and glorifying Him with all I do. See, life honestly doesn’t seem like it could be better.
Life has just been in a different season. I get way less time with Jesse than I used to and physical touch and quality time are definitely my love languages, so I’ve had to learn to transform my life a little bit and be content with that. School has been draining- I’m in class all of the time. I mean, most of my classes are awesome and I’m learning a lot, but it’s still hours of sitting in a room learning things when I am so determined to be in the real world putting into action the things I have learned and continue to learn. My faith has matured so it feels a little bit different than it used to, but a good different, but it’s still a change and I have to transform my entire body and soul into understanding the change and understanding how I work. Tests are hard for me, so I have to put a lot of work into school, so you see, I’ve just had a lot going on.
A lot to focus on that has distracted me from seeking joy and seeking bliss.
But I’ve been praying lately. Praying a whole lot about my joy. Someone gave me a book called “The Happiness Project” and I write down one single sentence every day about what made me happy. And suddenly,
I’m seeing it again- the light on my face.
I’m feeling it again- that joy in my heart.
And truly, I tell you,
I have been re-awakened to the importance of focusing my attention on the good and perfect things that come my way on a daily basis rather than the things that drain me.